Lev Alexandrovich Russov (Russian, 1926-1988) - At The Neva River Embankment, 1963 Paintings: Oil on Board
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The annual “Taco Bell Train To Flavor” event went horribly wrong this morning as the methane flatulence of over 200 passengers was ignited by a spark from the train tracks.
The resulting blast tore through the train cars at over 100mph, burning through doors and windows with the compounded lit farts resulting from an estimated 400 pounds of Taco Bell enchiladas, burritos and tacos. “It’s a miracle nobody was killed,” said Taco Bell spokesman Mario Tartarugafrantoio, “The sheer volume of flatus that had collected in the train cars constituted a thermobaric bomb equal in potency to 12 Hiroshima explosions.”
Luckily the force of the blast was directed out the train windows and into the nearby Westboro Bapsist protesters who had come to boycott the Taco Bell event. Fred Phelps and 17 of his church members were lit aflame, much to the praise of anyone with good taste and common human decency.
by Clare Elsaesser
Artist: André Schirmer
“The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses.”
— e.e cummings